My Own Despair

In the mist of my despair comes a tiny hint of hope

In the form of a voice over the phone.

I have reached out in hopes of finding

some sort of sanctuary but none is forth coming

I have worked long and hard to make it to an age where

You would think life would be willing to cut you a deal

"No deals" echo's in the drums of my ears "are out there to have".

Cold uncaring eyes and slamming doors.

I living the American dream oh what a laugh.

The dream fading, turning into a nightmare are the extent of my days now.

To sit and speculate the outcome of what seems to be a no win situation

I can now understand the word Despair for I am facing it with raw fingertips

Raw from hanging on to what should rightfully be mine.

I have cried unanswered tears, lost hope, lost self-esteem.

Searching in places I didn't realize existed and now

Calling making a last attempt against all odds for some kind of help

In a river of tangled dreams my thoughts are rushing out.

The sounds of whimpering words make no sense

I use my fist to fight tears running down my face.

Catch your breath came the voice,

Wipe your eyes I will help you.

My heart sank, my fears though not diminished lessoned

I sat silently waiting

by Alexandra Krayewski